When I opened my door, I was immediately pulled inside and pushed up against the wall. My legs were spread and patted down by a tall, handsome man wearing a dark suit and sunglasses.  "Have I done something wrong officer?"  I inquired.  He ran his hands up my inner thighs as he replied, "Not as long as you don’t cut and run. HE really hates liberal pussies."

"HE?" I ask, "You're not the man I spoke with on the phone?"  "Sorry Ma'am," he says, pausing his hand on my breast, "I'm just the hired help- HE is.  Sorry again, good luck."

 I look over my shoulder and see the familiar bald head, lopsided menacing grin, and square body that terrorizes me every week on my TV. I'm an atheist, but that didn’t stop me from praying out loud, "Oh dear God, help me now!"(It's true, there are no atheists in fox holes.)

His scowl and unblinking eyes send a shiver through me, and I try not to tremble because I learned from watching FOX News that if you show fear it just emboldens the enemy; and, being a progressive liberal, I knew he already thought me weak.

He looks me over and mutters, "You'll do.  On your knees, let’s get started-I know you Democrats watch the clock and want us out as soon as possible, but I’m telling you now, I don’t believe in timetables and early withdrawals.  If it takes three minutes, one hour, or six months, we will stay the course until the mission is accomplished!"

He unbuckles his belt and his pants immediately fall down to his ankles.  I couldn’t help thinking, "Damn, his belly is so fat, he doesn’t even have to unzip his fly."  I giggle at the sight of a fat man with his pants around his ankles and my fear is relieved.  A man can never be scary with his pants around his ankles.  HE notices my grin, and with great paranoia says, "What are you grinning at?  I still have my boxer shorts on, you can’t even see it yet!"

 I try to pacify his fear of inadequacy, and calmly say, "Oh, I’m just smiling because I thought you’d enjoy seeing a woman smile for once-your wife is always looking so stern."

 
"Aah fuck!: HE grimaces, "Why'd you mention my wife?  Now, it’s gonna take even longer for me to get hard, goddamn it!"  HE drops his boxers and grabs himself violently and starts yanking on his cock.  I look, and only see his fist and two huge saggy balls hanging down around his lower thighs.  (I couldn’t see any cock, not even the tip.  His hand completely engulfed his penis.)  "Oh shit," I think to myself, "it's true, he's all saggy balls and no dick!  No wonder HE likes to hold large, long rifles whenever possible, poor guy."  (The liberal in me just had to feel compassion for him.  Sometimes I wish I was a compassionate conservative instead of a compassionate liberal.)

With his one had furiously yanking on his prick; HE grabs the back of my head with the other and shoves my face into his crotch.  "Suck it bitch, suck it!" HE demands.  I raise my hands to block getting punched in the face by his furiously yanking cock-fist, but not fast enough and my teeth and his knuckles collide and HE yelps like a two-year-old. HE cries out, "Ow, ow, you hurt me!"  Immediately, the hired help rush me and shove me to the ground.  Good Looking one assertively says, "You're not allowed to hurt him Ma'am.  If you do, we’re going to have to take you out, is that understood?"  "Yes, yes, sure, my bad, sorry," I reply.  "Can I get up now, sir?"

 They let me up slowly and I notice HE is no longer in the room.  "Where'd HE go?" I ask. Good Looking replies, "HE likes to run to a secure location until the danger passes.  All clear, Sir," Good Looking announces.  HE pokes his head out of the bathroom and asks, "Are you sure?"  "Yes, Sir, we're sure.  Come on out now, Sir.  The danger has passed,"  Good Looking tells his boss as calmly as possible.  HE walks out slowly holding his pants up and cautiously stands before me again.  "Did you explain to her she's not allowed to hurt me?" HE whines.  "Yes, Sir," Good Looking replies.

 "Good, back on your knees you slut, bitch, pussy-ass, liberal whore!" HE barks, while wiping his runny nose.  I do as HE says and HE takes a cautious step toward me and instructs, "No teeth this time-that hurts!"

 
I slowly lift his belly fat and try to find his dick.  I notice a little knobular type thing where his dick should be and gently suck it into my mouth.  His hand goes back onto my head and grabs my hair.  "Yeah, that's it, nice and slow, no teeth, ooh, yeah, yeah, keep sucking, keep sucking," HE moans.  We stay in that exact position for 45 minutes and nothing happens! It's still a soft, flabby knobular thing.  My jaw starts to cramp up and becomes so painful I finally have to drop him out of my mouth.  I say, "I'm sorry, nothing’s happening.  Were you drinking before you came here?  Alcohol isn't kind to cocks."

"Ah, goddamn it!," HE grunts.  "I told you, as long as it takes, no timetables, you Pelosi-loving bitch!" "I'm sorry," I argue, "but we could do this all day and nothing will ever change.  Victory will never be at hand!"

HE grunts and mutters something about me being a "cut and run surrender monkey" and stomps into the bathroom.  I sigh with relief, thinking HE's finally going to admit defeat.  Good Looking see's my relief and says, "Don't get your hopes up.  Remember, HE's:  Stay the Course until Mission is Accomplished."  I groan, and reply, "I like challenges, but sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on."  Good Looking grins at me and says, "Spoken like a rationally-thinking progressive.  Be careful, don’t let him hear you, you’ll be Gitmo'd for being unpatriotic."  I hear some kind of electrical power equipment sound emanating from the bathroom and wonder if I’m going to be tortured to obtain victory.  I begin to tremble again.

 After a couple of minutes, HE walks out of the bathroom holding his now almost normal size cock.  I stare in disbelief.  As HE comes closer I see that it's strangely swollen.  I look even closer and see two rubber bands tightly squeezing the base of his penis. I exclaim, "Oh my God, you used a penis pump, didn't you?"  HE half-mouth grins at me and says, "There's no doubt the surge works, baby!"

 Knowing HE was never going to leave until HE was proven right (at least in his own mind) I kneel in front of him again and start the sucking. After about 20 minutes, HE starts grunting and bucking and panting a mantra, "Stay the course, stay the course, stay the course," then, "last throws, last throws, last throws," and finally a huge "aauugh."

HE aggressively pushes my head back and off his pumped-up cock, and breathing hard, says, "See baby, we will have victory, not timetables!"  I look at his still forcibly-swollen dick.  I don't see, and suspiciously, don’t taste any cum. HE starts to unwind the rubber bands holding up his penis, and with great delusion says, "Mission accomplished."  I reply, "No doubt, slam dunk, if you will."